I've got a taxi picking me up in seven hours to take me to the airport and off to my next chapter. I spent the day today packing up stuff I won't need and packing a small bag of things I will, like a winter coat, sleeping bag, tent, several layers of cotton clothing, some fleece, four pairs of underwear, the tiny canon elph digital camera, my passport, wallet, insurance and registration, and maps of Canada. My leathers and tank bag are with Henk at the lake.

My kitty knows. She spent hours this afternoon sleeping on my half-packed bag. Just looking at her made me cry. I tried training her to come along but she barfed when I put her in a knapsack. She's gotten fat and complacent. Something I feared if I stayed much longer.

My sister emailed and said she didn't realise how much she needed me around until I told her I was leaving and didn't know when or if I'd be back. I bawled some more.

Ron spent the day trying to keep busy while I packed up the evidence of my three year existence in this house. We did our usual Saturday morning in bed with soy lattes and the big fat Toronto Star trying to spend one or two hours in mutual denial. It's a ritual we've indulged in weekly since we met but today our reading was interrupted by waves of emotion and nostalgia and bittersweetness. We just went out for our 'last supper' and actually managed to get in a chuckle or two. He has the best sense of humour of anyone I've ever met and manages, even in the darkest times, to find something to poke fun at. It's why I've stayed this long. It's been fun. Really really fun.

I came home just now to a message from the man to whom I was married. Very interesting considering Ron mentioned tonight that perhaps this is actually the closing of the whole marriage/divorce/travel/couple of quick relationships/ron chapter and that I must be moving into act 3. Ken's going to be in Toronto all week and wanted to try and grab dinner. I was just saying to Ron that it took Ken four years to get to where Ron is tonight, able to see the good in all this and even discuss the possibility of friendship or continuing our collaborative writing process. He's amazing. He has amazed me on an almost daily basis since I've known him and here I am leaving.